


did i leave it in the cold?

by maunwocha



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Clairvoyance, Clairvoyant John Murphy, M/M, Smoking, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:07:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24244747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maunwocha/pseuds/maunwocha
Summary: John Murphy can see the future, and his life is changed forever when he sees the death of a stranger and decides to save his life. His mistake lies in the fact that the stranger was Bellamy Blake, and he isn't about to let this strange event pass by without finding out more. Murphy has no idea what he's gotten himself into.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/John Murphy
Comments: 20
Kudos: 31





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first murphamy fic and it's so short and maybe awful but if you like it then let me know babie!!! Thank you for reading
> 
> Title from Them Changes by Thundercat

“Hey!”

Murphy looks over his shoulder at the city sidewalk behind him. Oh, shit.

“Hey!” the guy calls again. God damn it, he knows Murphy saw him. This cannot happen.

Murphy picks up his pace, puts his earphones in but plays no music. He can hear the footsteps behind him quicken too. This isn’t going to be easy, Murphy thinks as he crosses the street, away from the other people on the sidewalk. Part of him knows, even without his Sight, that he can’t outrun him. He has to let Bellamy catch up to him.

Murphy reaches the other side and stops, but doesn’t turn. He hears the footfalls behind him slow, stop. It’s starting to rain, again.

“Please, do you remember me?” Bellamy croaks at last, out of breath. “I came back here, every day after the— after the crash. I had to find you, because… because I think you saved me, somehow.”

Shit. He’s already starting to figure it out, or he’s at least suspicious, Murphy can hear it in his voice. He is _such an idiot_ , what the hell was he thinking? His whole life, he has always been so careful about when he intervenes, how he does it, so no one suspects. None of that happened, this time. This time, he didn’t get time to plan, and this time, he knew he couldn’t let it happen anyway.

The feeling that floods Murphy’s chest is so overwhelming that he has to bolt again, but before he gets far, there’s a strong hand gripping his arm, rooting him to the spot.

“Wait!” Bellamy hollers, though he releases Murphy instantly. “Wait, please!”

Murphy hears the honest desperation in his voice, and knows at once that he isn’t going to let it go. Ever. This is gonna torture this guy forever unless Murphy tells him the truth. Whether he likes it or not, he started something that day, by saving Bellamy’s life. This isn’t something he can run from.

He rubs one hand roughly over his face. “Fuck.”

Bellamy steps closer. “Tell me,” he begs quietly. “Please, please.”

Murphy looks around them; they stand alone on the sidewalk, steel railing separating them from the river below. It’s late.

Well. Here goes nothing. Murphy yanks his headphones out.

“You’re right,” Murphy admits, still unable to meet the open shock that is clear in Bellamy’s expression. Jesus, he hasn’t been able to look at him this entire time. “I saw you die, alright? And I ran into you on purpose, because if I hadn’t—”

“If you hadn’t,” Bellamy finishes, breathing hard. “I would have walked into that intersection and there would have been another body in the street that day.”

They lock eyes; Murphy doesn’t nod, but he doesn’t look away. He can’t. Water from the drizzle drips from the ends of Bellamy's curly hair, onto his jacket. His eyes are wild, but he doesn’t look scared.

It’s as much confirmation as Bellamy needs.

“God,” he gasps, running both his quaking hands over his face and through his hair. Air rushes out of him in one big gust, and he looks for a second like he might collapse. “So you saved my life. You did.”

For some reason this makes Murphy flush from his neck to his ears, and he has to look away now. Bellamy’s eyes are too heavy on him.

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

Murphy opens his mouth, ready to answer, and finds that nothing comes out. His eyes flutter closed, and he takes a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

“You’ve never done this before,” Bellamy says. It isn’t a question, and he doesn’t clarify whether he means Murphy intervening to prevent someone’s death or telling someone he can see the future, but it doesn’t make much difference because he’s right either way.

Murphy digs through his pockets to pull out a pack of smokes. He offers it to Bellamy, eyebrows up, and Bellamy shakes his head. He lights up.

“It’s never felt like this before,” he finally says, taking a thoughtful pull on his cigarette, leaning his arms on the railing and looking out across the black water. In his peripheral vision, he can see Bellamy do the same, hanging on every word.

“When I saw you—in my, in… I saw you die, and it was like, I’ve changed things because of what I saw before, you know, who wouldn’t? But this time… it was like I _had_ to. Because of… something I haven’t seen yet, but I know is coming. I don’t just know it in my head. It’s like it’s in my entire body.”

Murphy takes another hard pull on his cigarette, letting that information settle over both of them. And then Bellamy’s big hand is wrapped firmly around his wrist and for a second he panics until the other man plucks the cigarette from between his fingers and takes a drag himself. Murphy lets himself laugh.

“Something,” Bellamy repeats, smoke curling out from his mouth. He releases Murphy. His wrist is on fire. “Is this something… good or bad?”

Murphy’s brows pull together, but he smiles. “I told you, I haven’t seen it. Yet.”

Bellamy hands him his cigarette back, then studies him.

“What’s your name?”

Murphy laughs incredulously to himself. Oh, right. “It’s… Murphy.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Murphy,” Bellamy says. “I’m Bellamy.”

Murphy winces a little. “I know.”

To his credit, Bellamy just lets a slow smile creep across his face. The cigarette is almost down to the filter now, but Bellamy takes it once again, stealing the last sip of nicotine. He leans in close, and blows the smoke into Murphy’s air.

“How’s about you and I get some food or something, and you explain to me exactly how all of this works?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy explains his power to Bellamy and sees more of their future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyway here's more of this, I hate the ending, love y'all

He’s thinking of what to even say when the future comes to him.

“A girl,” Murphy blurts out of nowhere.

Bellamy blinks at him, a bite of cherry pie waiting on his fork. It falls back to his plate.

“What?”

They’re at this diner Murphy likes. Everyone who works there is nice to him, and the lights are this hazy soft yellow in tacky old glass light fixtures that make him sleepy.

Even though he brought Bellamy here, even though some deep part of him _knows_ that this, them, is going to be how things are from now on, Murphy still wants to hide its specialness from him. He doesn’t know how not to resist... whatever this is.

Murphy closes his eyes tight. “Sorry. When I see things it- they come in flashes, sometimes. It takes a second to understand.”

Bellamy says nothing, just scoops his pie back up and takes a bite, chewing thoughtfully. Murphy sips on his coffee a little bit, blinking the rest of the vision away. His visions can’t be compared to anything else, not like dreams or memories, but something deeper, like the knowledge springs forth from inside him somewhere. Like it had been there all along, but he only noticed just now.

“I saw you, with a girl. She has long, dark hair… she’s pretty,” Murphy assesses quietly, sipping his coffee again. He meets Bellamy’s eyes. “She’s not your girlfriend, though. Sister?”

Tears of pure disbelief shine in Bellamy’s eyes, and he wears a broad, semi-crazed grin.

“Holy shit,” he breathes, leaning back in his seat. “You… what else do you see?”

His face is radiating this unfiltered curiosity, this hunger for more that is so prominent Murphy can hardly stand it. Whenever he imagined someone finding out about what he can do, it never, ever went down like this. He’s waiting for the other shoe to drop, even though this time it really, really, feels like it won’t.

For all his gifts, he didn’t see Bellamy coming. Not until it was too late.

“You’re hugging her,” Murphy says, looking at his hands, trying to focus on the ephemeral images in his mind. “And it’s sunny outside, and another girl is laughing near us but I can’t really see her, and Octavia whispers something in your ear—”

At the sound of his sister’s name, Bellamy inhales a shaky gasp.

“Sorry,” Murphy says quickly. “I’m sorry, it’s probably freaky—”

“You knew her name,” Bellamy interrupts him, and his eyes are soft, and Murphy looks away again. “This is real.”

Murphy snorts. “You didn’t think so until _that_? I knew your name, I saved your life.”

Something mischievous twinkles in Bellamy’s eyes. Something else is there too. Murphy does not look. “You could have been my stalker or something. Maybe you still are.”

“Hey, you chased _me_ down in the street,” Murphy replies through a laugh.

Bellamy shakes his head, smiling, and takes another bite of pie. He swipes at his eyes with his thumb, unashamed but quick about it. Murphy sips his coffee again.

“You said ‘us’,” Bellamy says, looking at him.

“I— what?”

Bellamy smiles. “You said, ‘another girl is laughing near _us_.’ Us. So you’re there too? When I’m hugging O?”

Murphy is struck speechless again, feeling that traitorous blush spreading up his neck and to his ears. Damn it, he is _so_ careless. It’s like he looks at Bellamy and his brain just breaks, and all these contingencies and careful behaviors he spends so long building for everyone else just dissolve. He can’t think.

“Uh. Yeah.”

Bellamy surprises him by leaning forward and clapping him on the arm. “Lighten up, Murph. No one’s dying in this one, right?”

Murphy tries to smile, but Bellamy’s words bring forth the image once again of Bellamy stepping into the intersection and—

“Shit, Murphy, I’m sorry,” Bellamy leans forward, immediately sensing his mistake. His hand twitches on the table, like he might be about to reach for Murphy, but Murphy flinches before he can stop himself. Bellamy’s brows draw together. “Murphy…”

“It’s okay,” Murphy replies, voice shaky. He smirks a little. “It’s not like you’ve ever done this before either.”

Bellamy smiles, but the pain is still there. Murphy knows it’s for him. Because he acts like a fucking scared animal. Jesus.

“Anyway, yeah. I’m there, that’s how it works,” Murphy continues. “I can’t see things I don’t experience, just like everyone else.”

“Just like everyone else,” Bellamy repeats to himself quietly. Before Murphy can respond, he speaks again. “Back to what you saw—tell me about the other girl. Maybe I know who it is.”

Murphy closes his eyes, focusing. “She’s pretty, too. Blonde, blue eyes. She and Octavia seem close.”

Bellamy cracks a huge smile. “That’s definitely Clarke.”

A lump forms in Murphy’s throat that he tries to swallow with a swig of coffee. “Who is she?”

“We went to school together,” Bellamy explains, now finished with his pie, and leans back into the booth. “I used to hate her guts, but now…” he smiles to himself, shaking his head. “Now she’s my best friend.”

Murphy can’t help his smile in return. “Then I’m excited to meet her. I feel like you’re probably really fun to mess with.”

Bellamy groans, rubbing his eyes with his hands. “Don’t get any ideas. You’ve got no idea what it’s like to live with my sister.”

Murphy smiles, but only for a second. A sudden and hot lance of pain shoots through his head, and he gasps, clutching his face in his hands.

“Murphy!” Bellamy says, shocked, but Murphy can barely hear him.

This glimpse of the future is more intense than any he’s had in years. Images crash into him like stormy ocean waves, touch and smell and sound all bombarding him at once. He can’t help himself; his hand rockets across the table to clutch Bellamy’s sleeve, white-knuckled, and he holds on tight or he feels like he might lose himself.

_“Murphy!” Clarke calls from behind him, but all he can see is Bellamy._

_He’s holding Murphy’s face in his big hands, gently, the railing of the bridge separating more of them from touching. Murphy has as much of Bellamy’s jacket in his fists as will fit, pulling him as close as he can, keeping him away from the edge. Dark water is churning in the river below._

_“Bellamy, please,” Murphy whispers, broken and begging._

_Bellamy smiles at him. It’s sad. “I have to do this Murphy,” he says, gentle. “I know you’ll understand why. You’re so good, you always figure it out.”_

_“Don’t leave me,” Murphy gasps, squeezing his eyes shut tight. Rain is pelting them, and the street behind him smells like gasoline. “Please, please, please.”_

_“I will_ never _leave you,” Bellamy vows, resting his forehead softly against Murphy’s, his thumb catching the droplets of rain gathering at his temple. “I love you.”_

_Murphy sobs, opening his eyes to look at Bellamy one more time._

_“I trust you,” Bellamy says, brushing wet hair out of Murphy’s face. “See you soon.”_

_Then he kisses him on the mouth, hard, and shoves himself backward and off the bridge._

_“No!” Murphy lunges forward, but he doesn’t reach him in time._

“Murphy?” Bellamy tries again, and finally Murphy hears him.

“Oh, shit, Bell,” he mumbles, looking around. Instinctively, he swipes at his nose, and finds that it’s bleeding. That’s… unfortunate. “What just happened?”

Bellamy looks freaked, but he rips a bunch of napkins from the dispenser and holds them out for Murphy. “You tell me. We were just talking and then you grabbed me and started breathing all weird and your pupils were going crazy. Was that a vision?”

Murphy snorts into the napkin wad. “’A vision,’ that’s so… yeah,” he finishes lamely, remembering the details of what he saw and wincing. He can’t meet Bellamy’s eyes. “Man, this is crazy. Haven’t had a nosebleed like that in a long time.”

“I’m glad it’s not a regular occurrence,” Bellamy says, expression tight. “Are you okay? That was a little hard to watch.”

A grim laugh erupts from Murphy. “You’re telling me.”

Bellamy winces. “Right. Sorry.”

A thoughtful silence settles between them. Bellamy is clearly dying to know what just happened in the future, but this is new, and he's too polite to just ask. It _is_ fun to watch him squirm. Murphy’s nose stops bleeding, and he pockets the napkins.

He can’t take it anymore. “Are you in trouble?”

Bellamy’s brows draw together. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, and I don’t want to alarm you, that I’ve seen you die twice now,” Murphy says, studying the reaction to his words. “And now I have a big episode for the first time in a long time after meeting you for real. So, what is it, generational curse on your bloodline? Mob connections? Running from the law?”

Bellamy looks terrified, but in his defense, that was a lot all at once.

“I died again?” he says quietly after a while, looking out the window.

The phrasing of the question confuses Murphy, but he nods.

Bellamy worries at his lip. “’A curse,’ you said, right?” He laughs through his nose. “Maybe something like that.”

They meet eyes, and all the air is sucked out of the room.

“I’m sorry,” Bellamy confesses, resting both hands on the table. “My life is… complicated. You didn’t really get a choice on whether you wanted to be in it or not.”

Bellamy’s _I love you_ from the future rattles around in Murphy’s skull like a marble, and he feels his heart throbbing in his chest. Across from him, Bellamy looks tormented, brows drawn close together with shame and worry. This is too much. Murphy shuts his eyes tightly and shakes his head.

“I never—” he tries, then stops and looks at his hands, thinking about how he wants to say this. “What I see, I never have any control over it. Sometimes things I see are important, like, I need them right away and it’s obvious.”

Bellamy nods, and Murphy knows he’s thinking of the narrowly avoided car crash death that started this all.

“And other times it’s just random shit that makes no sense, or I only realize why I saw it after I already fucked it up. The warning didn’t work.”

He grits his teeth, pushing down the many, _many_ memories of times when that was true. On the table, Bellamy’s left hand shifts ever so slightly, so his palm is toward the ceiling. Like he’s reaching for Murphy, but it’s small, so he can pretend he didn’t see it and they both get to keep themselves safe. It makes Murphy want to jump out the window.

“But every time I see you,” he continues breathlessly through his discomfort. “Like, not right in front of me, but… you know. _See_ you. It’s like, even though I don’t know anything yet, I can’t understand any of it, I know exactly what I have to do. And I’ve… maybe never felt that way, before.”

Bellamy smiles. He looks suddenly old, and the thought occurs to Murphy he still doesn’t really know anything about this guy. How old _is_ he? Older than Murphy, or it seems like it.

“Well, if you know what to do,” Bellamy says at last, crossing his arms. “At least that makes one of us.”

Murphy leans over and rests his head on the table. He needs to go to sleep. After a moment, Bellamy rests a hand on his shoulder. It takes everything Murphy has not to flinch at the touch. After a while, it feels nice. They stay like that for a little bit.


End file.
